THE SIN OF BEING SINGLE

RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MAN.

A cup of chemistry.

A variety of communication strategies to be employed as and when needed.

Spoonfuls of imagination.

Cups of thoughtfulness,

Bowls overflowing trust and compatibility.

A dash of humor.

A pinch of stability.

A blend of mischief and maturity.

A handful of memory for birthdays and anniversaries and for all other occasions that only women can keep track of.

Method:

Step 1: Season the start of the relationship with lots of chemistry and communication. Add by mixing a bit all the above ingredients, except the bowls overflowing with trust and compatibility.

Step 2: Stir it up with lots of energy and enthusiasm. Note that at this stage, all the ingredients would have doubled in quantity. Keep stirring.

Step 3: Bring it to a sizzle with bowls overflowing with trust and compatibility for this takes time after all the seasoning and stirring.

Step 4: Garnish with everlasting love and serve hot.

Wouldn’t life be real easy if we could cook up a recipe for things we like? Especially for our life partners who can be chosen and cooked to perfection (I am not being cannibalistic here) to season, add, simmer and occasionally mash and be mashed on the process? Reality doesn’t even come remotely close.

A friend of mine once said, “Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes and it is up to the women to stomp the shit out of them before they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.” Having researched and experienced the grape making process thoroughly, I found it really tedious and prefer to opt for the single life.

If it weren’t for the people around me, I’d truly enjoy staying single. Unfortunately this is not possible unless I am living in some remote island filled with animals and feast on herbs and roots. Once the “marriageable” age is reached, let alone the older generation who talk about “settling down” in every sentence they use, but your own peers, the ones who went through the “singles” phase and loathed those who popped the “M” related question end up joining the conspiracy against the singletons and pop back the same question to you! The audacity of it all!

Or is it just plain concern?..

I have had various explanations to my single status, not from my imagination mine– that I must be someone with a preference for the same sex which is why I am not getting married ( I couldn’t be more straight), that I must have suffered some kind of abuse as a kid and that is manifesting by my refusal to get married and , that I must have been dumped by someone or the other in the past and hence hate the male species, that maybe I have a secret lover that I aren’t talking about ( and in this case, “ask her about it and do get her married to the guy of her choice” say my relatives to my poor mother who in turn interrogates me on my non existent secret lover), that I am harboring a deep fear for the “one-eyed snake” as one person put it (please don’t ask me to explain this. The guy needs to be given credit for his subtleness), that there must be “something wrong somewhere” for her to stay this way… the list is endless.. The cake goes to my maid who comes in to clean at our place advising mom to “hypnotize” me into getting married if it doesn’t work any other way.

Please! Cant a woman be healthy, attractive, intelligent, independent and STILL stay single and enjoy it without people acting like as though being single is a disease?.

Then there is the dreaded Valentine’s day. Heart shaped pizzas and couples in love feeding them to each other. I can look at that and feel happy that there is love in the air, if it weren’t for the comments I would get, making me feel incomplete, like I have lost a limb or something. “What are you doing for Valentines?” “Aren’t you going out? You mean you still haven’t found anyone yet.” Like partners are meant to be picked and chosen like vegetables off the market.

Maybe one day they’ll have an island where they’ll banish all people who are single and who knows I might find my man there and get married!!!

Vidya.S